Wednesday, February 28, 2007

How to help a single mom Part 2

Here are some additional thoughts.
I wanted to reiterate that the bold comments on Part 1 are my sister's.

1. These are ideas. Sort of like brainstorming. Please don’t take them as gospel or think you must do them all. I was only trying to give you some ideas to show you how easy it is to bless someone’s heart.

2. Many of these do apply to single dads. I meant to mention it and forgot. (Since I don’t happen to be one.)

Some more ideas

*If she has a boy, invite her son to do things with your husband and your boys.

This summer my son played tee ball on the rec department’s league. My heart sunk when I realized all the other little boys knew how to catch a ball in their gloves and my little over achiever was working his heart out trying to catch his.

I just never thought to teach him that. That is a daddy thing. He did fine in tee ball. My point is there are simply things that moms don’t even think about. A man or even older teen age boy could tremendously bless a younger boy.

*If she owns any type of business that you can frequent, send your business there.

Tell your friends too. Many single moms that I am reading about on the blogosphere do computer work (graphics, internet sites, typing), some do child care, tutoring, private lessons, own a store. So if you need something her business offers please support her.

*Don’t offer to do something unless you intend to follow through.

I have had people tell me they will do “xyz” or “I’m going to bring something over for you” and it never happens. Or when I thought their offer was something I was to count on, I found it it was only good intentions.

Now I promise you I am not whining or complaining. If you were in my living room I could look you in the eye and say that. I didn’t ask for these things. They were offered.

Asking for help is really difficult for me. So when I went to take them up on the offer and found out they didn’t “really” mean it I felt completely stupid. I wonder if offering made them feel better about themselves so they just said things without thinking?

I don’t know. I just know that I heavily counted on some of the offers BECAUSE they were offered to me unsolicited. Dealing with the disappointment that came would have never occurred if only the good intentions had not been spoken. (There is however a blog post in that lesson when I get around to typing it up.)

Good intentions do not pay bills.

There are some really great ideas in the comments section of Part 1. Take a peek. Thanks to everyone for your input and ideas.

1 comment:

Ame said...

Thank you, Lizzie. It's so difficult to articulate what you just wrote. People want to believe that we shouldn't be dissatisfied with whatever is given to us simply because we are "in need." However, God says we are to give and help as though we are helping Jesus Himself!

That we long to be loved and helped and cared for in this way is natural, the way we're created.

Learning to receive help is VERY difficult, and I appreciate your writing in your previous post about how to treat one whom you are helping with respect in ways that will not diminish their dignity.

The Bible also says to let your yes be yes and your no be no. In other words, back up what what you speak. Hard for all of us. Yet, I agree that others do not know how much we cling to their offers to love and care for us.

Thank you for sharing these difficult words. May they be accepted in love and truth.